When my daughter Jevana, was a child, I noticed she had little or no
interest in
painting and drawing. I felt a little sad she did not share my passion for
painting and creating, but I simply figured, she was more nerdy and left
brain oriented, as she loved to read – constantly and she was a
brilliant student.A few times a year she attended street painting festivals with me. Mostly she watched and often slept when she got bored. Occasionally, she would color in some areas, and occasionally went off to draw her own thing. She began her own sponsored street paintings squares at age eight and did that once a year for ten years.
As a young teenager, she first began drawing profound cartoons, and then began painting in oils and water color.
At fifteen years of age, she suddenly came into painting with a fierce passion. I set up an area in the garage where she had a desk, an easel, a heater and time to focus and go inward all alone.
As a teenager painting became her saving grace. Her paintings were raw, shocking and powerful, compelling and engaging. She had no expectation of being a good artist, she simply did what she was driven to do – once she got into creating, we've had this passion in common for many years. She was more curious than determined to make any of it "be" something. That recipe worked well. And her inner critic had not fully ripened, so she seemingly had no internal battles about discrepancies between what she had in mind and how it was turning out.
She focused a lot on the human figure and studied my anatomy books to get a feel for our human skeleton under our skin. And within a short period of time, she submitted her artwork and won merit based full scholarships into two summer programs as well as a full scholarship to college in New York.
She is now in her early thirties and my daughter has rarely painted in the past six years. She has been a fully responsible working adult. Lately her need to create has been calling her again like sirens on land, eager to entice her into the waves of creation... and she recently dove back into drawing and painting, and though productively producing beautiful works, she is also finding many stumbling blocks to freely enjoying her creative inclinations.
I feel very happy to hear she is re-employing her artistic skills and practices, as I know creating as a meditation and the self-righting effect it can have. I have also missed seeing her work and sharing the joy about the images she creates.
The difficulty now, is she is no longer innocent to her abilities, and her expectations are elevated by a productive history, and her mind is interfering. She is struggling with letting what ever she is creating be enough, or good enough simply for having put time and energy into it.
This challenge of hers led me to think more about how to help someone get over the first hurdle: not giving into negative self talk... that KFUK radio station inside our heads can rob all inspiration from us if we let it play.
Healing a broken heart and righting one's self in the world is a very different motivation than wanting to paint a beautiful painting for your wall, or accrue enough merit to get bills for school covered. For her, when she was young, she did not care what came out of it. She simply had to create and spend that quiet time alone with herself and her feelings, once she had an incredible portfolio, it won her recognition.
My daughter wants to re-experience the freedom that being creative gave her when she was younger, and she is struggling a bit because her mind and inner critic voice is interfering with her enjoyment of the process. Of course it is easy to suggest, ditch the inner critic. But that is easier said then done.
Her challenge has led to me suddenly rethink what Art is for me and how I have gotten to where I am, as well as what creating is, in a bigger perspective and how to present what I want to impart to a student. I have nearly thirty years of street painting experience, being in a crowd making art. Making mistakes, or marks I did not like, or detracted from a painting, correcting them if I could, and moving on. The fast pace of it forced me to continue, and being in a crowd, let me to be gentler on myself.
For me creating is making something out of nothing. I get high from creating. And that uplifted sensation is enough for me. I learned to get over my big bad self. It was not helping me do anything. Now, I often easily accept, or do not mind the outcome, even if it varies from my expectations or original intention. That kind of outlook takes a lot of pressure off the process and the end result.
What carries the thrill, is the enjoyment of sitting and experimenting with paint and color to see where it goes, always keep a keen-eye lookout for something new and different, versus being heavily attached to the results being a certain way.
And for the record, No, I was not always able to get the results I liked or had in mind. Maybe even now, or possibly ever. But I learned to be OK with the results I do get, and see the beauty in what happened versus how I thought I wanted a painting or other creative project to turn out.
I have learned over time to enjoy the process, versus measure it all by the end result. And when the end result represents a good time had, creating it, it is easier to appreciate the art – the art brings back a good memory.
I think all people have artistic talent and sensibilities. If their artistic talents are not active those talents are simply dormant, and unstirred. Those abilities can be brought out at any time, but they need to be coerced or invited to come out and be used.
People who improve artistically, are the people who practice creating and experiment freely.
So, I encourage you to practice. Make time for it. Even if it is a short period of time. Make it a time of meditation. Give the gift of creating to yourself. Your temperament will be graced with a sense of peace – few other activities produce this as easily.
The people who practice creating more are the people who enjoy making art more. So, enjoying it leads to doing it more, which leads to better skills and abilities which leads to better results, and hence more enjoyment.
It is a cycle.
However, the beginning of the cycle is not good results – it is enjoyment.
How does someone enjoy painting?
By being lighthearted about the process.
#1) – by getting out of your own way. Finding ways to tone down the inner critic, and let the youthful inner self explore and play.
#2) – minimize discomforts (such as temperature, hunger, thirst, ) so there is little to distract you when you are doing the serious work/play of creating a painting.
#3) – Be curious and playful. Experiment. Try things. When you are quiet enough, an inner guidance will lead you to what to work on next.
You do not have to solve the painting in a second, you are a witness to its unfolding. Enjoy it!
I think the most prominent aspect of painting for me, is the peaceful feeling that comes when I paint.
Painting is a type of meditation, or study. It is a spiritual experience.
It is a practice of paying deep and intense attention to an image and the process of creating it and allowing for unexpected things to happen and evolve, then accepting it and moving forward from that point. A bit like life, mmm?
Creating is a spiritual experience, a meditation – it is finding peace in a particular function of making something out of nothing. Be your god, self for a time, make something out of nothing, for fun.
